Saturday, October 20, 2012

If you had amnesia, would you still be friends with those around you?

This sits on my sister's fridge. I've lost count of the number of years its been there, but I remember identifying with it quite strongly when I first read it. I'm also part way through reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth which elaborates on the idea of ego and our perceptions of the world.

Perhaps where we see this the most is when we hear of friends that break up with their significant others. If it's a bad break, then in a mere few months, their perception of their significant other goes from one extreme to the other. The thing is, I don't think people change dramatically. I believe it takes quite a lot for someone's personality to completely change overnight, a literal life-changing matter. So what does it mean?

If someone turns around in a short space and suddenly claims that someone is despicable within a very short period of time, it's less likely that the person they're talking about has changed, but more that the perception of them has.

And on the flip side, sometimes people can change dramatically, over a period of time, but our old perceptions of them can trick us into not seeing them for who they really are.

The problem with knowing this, is that sometimes you realise that you don't actually like certain people that you think you do, and that you logically might like others that you currently find to be despicable.

And then to further complicate things, what if you're someone that is frequently misunderstood?

Busking is one of those things that for a long time I've said I would want to do, but don't have the courage to. I'd liken it to public speaking -- it will probably make you a better person when you do it, but having to do it scares most people.

As part of my day job, I record a weekly podcast. To me, that was just like busking. It sounds like an fun thing to do, but terrifies the crap out of me. The past few weeks, however, are probably the first that I've ever felt relatively relaxed. I guess the only way I can describe it is that it's not that I don't care, but I am without care, if that makes any sense.

I actually walked past this without noticing what was going on, and admittedly this is a pretty poor photograph of what is happening. There's a crane lowering this down from several stories above. No idea what it is, but maybe it's a crane.

And speaking of cranes, ever wonder how they make them? They use another crane. No kidding. I remember being told this as a little engineer in training while on the job and thinking it was a joke.

Across from Town Hall, it's probably not legible but the sign in the middle reads "Sorry, Tobacco Buyer! We may Request I. D. Under 25 years old Buyer. We are Seriously Nervous."

Yeah, me too.

I remember taking this photo and thinking it's the first time having an odd-sized aspect ratio on a smart phone is actually relatively useful.

Do you know how expensive it is to buy a bucket? It's ridiculous. But anyway, I bought a cheapy one partially for the fact that it was ass coloured.

I miss Tokyo. But then again, I've barely travelled, so that might be a reason why. What I worry about is that if I go back, it will be like Melbourne. Melbourne? Yes, Melbourne.

In 2006, I went to Melbourne for a holiday. I've been there several times, but always for work, which limits what I could see. I had a ball of a time, ate everything in sight, and have several memories from that trip that are among my most cherished.

A few years after that, I went again. I had a rare spot of extra time after going there for business and thought it would be great to wander around town again. However, I'd seen most everything I wanted to see already. I guess I'm an exploratory sort of guy, and well, Melbourne is not that big, so it was a bit disappointing.

Just like revisiting children's cartoons when you're nearing your thirties can almost ruin your prior memories, I feel like I have an irrational fear of upsetting the great time I recently had.

But then, that's just like me to confuse my perception of things with how they actually are, isn't it? Sometimes, even though you know reality might be different, it feels better to live the lie.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

We're actually really bad at figuring out what's good for us

My suburb shut off its streets a couple of weeks back and decided to hold a party. I live in a place with a lot of art galleries, so it's not usual to have lots of arty stuff around. It's a bit of a strange feeling wandering around your own neighbourhood when it's been transformed this way.

On the weekends I sometimes take an hour or so out and sit about in the city. There are plenty of spots to relax and giant trees that will share their shelter, if you know where to look. It's usually a moment to gather my thoughts, figure out what I'm doing and what I've done. Do it for a few weeks and you'll wonder how people go their whole lives without stopping for a moment and realising if they know what they're doing and how it contributes to them being them.

It's only October and these are up in my local shops. I guess you keep them in storage for most of the year, so you might as well break them out early. But for a whole quarter of a year? I dunno.

I walked into the office the other morning and some work colleagues were putting this Night Elf on its stand. However, the stand was behind a pillar, which I couldn't see, and they're surprisingly cumbersome to position. As a result, all I saw was my colleague humping it from behind next to a pillar. Not a good sight. I was a bit too dumbstruck, otherwise I would have taken a photo.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Is it youth that are outrageous, or the older generation that are out of touch?

On the corner of George and Barrack street, there's a statue of a little hooded boy. I'm pretty sure he's not meant to be there, but what probably gives it away is the gas canister behind him, as though he's one of those London rioters.

I can't wear a damn hoodie any more without being reminded of them.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I get the feeling logic can go out the window when having fun

One of my favourite things to do is eat fried chicken and drink beer.

Actually, that's two things, but who's paying attention.

And there are three things in this photo.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Learning from failure brings you closer to success

Sometimes in life, you just got to wear a lady bug hat like it's eating your brains.

When I was sitting for my interview a while back, the usual greatest strengths and weaknesses question came up. I know what you're supposed to answer with these -- a weakness which is actually a strength -- but I decided not to.

My greatest strength, I said, was that I am mostly aware of my own weaknesses and actively try to fix them. That's the truth. But it also means I do the exact opposite to what I'm meant to do with the weakness question: I reveal a weakness.

For me, it was that I feel as though I live a sheltered, geeky life, and have difficulty relating to others. The great thing about my greatest strength though, is that all that can change. It's no longer my greatest weakness, although it is still a weakness.

It's a long story (which I've saved you the sob story of having to read), but I've found that there are two pretty easy ways to deal with it. One is about two standard drinks. The other is to do occasionally do outrageously random things and deal with the social interactions that result.

I'd rather not become an alcoholic, so sometimes, doing weird things just has to happen. Because after all, if you can deal with the stares as you walk down the street with a funny hat on, I'm sure there are plenty of other things you can deal with in life.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

It's funny how so many people only know what they want after they're given it

I've been sick the past few days with what seems like the flu. I'm sort of like a cat when I get sick. I just get a little quieter than usual and don't really show any outward signs, but the way I recover is more like a dog. I burrow away for a while then emerge a few days later all fine.

This typically means roasting myself into a horrid sweat for hours. Its worked pretty well for as long as
I can remember, but it also ruins my mental state. I end up having crazy thoughts and dreams and I lose all track of time. So though I had broken sleep for about 12 hours the other night while trying to recover, it felt like I lost a day or two. Unfortunately part of that was dreaming about going to work, so it felt like I went to work for another day.

Anyway, the watch. My dreams got me thinking about who I am and what I do. Yet again. The truth is, as much as I am passionate about journalism and writing, it's not something I see myself doing for the rest of my life. So in my sickness I realised time is ticking away from me and I've settled into a state of adequacy. Everything is adequate for my needs, but really, I'll never achieve the form of greatness that I want.

To be honest, I want to go into business, create jobs, but feed profits back into a community, and solve a problem. I want to live a life that gives back more than is possible through a single person. And I feel that every day I don't is another day wasted. So worse than being sick is getting better and realising that you're wasting your life's potential.

Still, my life isn't a complete waste of time. I know that what I currently do does bring benefit to others' lives, but it's on a much smaller scale than I would have hoped. I'm no superhero, but I feel like what many of them claim to feel like before they find their purpose. That there's something bigger, something greater, that they're meant to do in life, but they just don't know what it is. The problem is, life is not a movie, and there's no guarantee I'll ever find out what it is.

The watch? It's my new favourite toy, my first automatic. Doesn't keep time as well as a quartz movement, but I like how it's purely mechanical. Sometimes I'm old-fashioned that way. You'd think me different, a lover of technology, but some things just don't feel the same for some reason. Razors with a gazillion blades? What happened to a straight edge shave? Cars that park themselves? What happened to becoming a better driver? Sometimes it feels like advancements in technology just make us dumber.

From the Gold Coast earlier this year. Sipping on a beer in the media room. It was a security conference and the year before, a journalist was arrested by Qld Police. Nothing of similar event happened this time around, although I secretly had hoped something would. Is it mean to hope for excitement? I think it's just biting off more than you can chew. Or perhaps a sign that you're tired of life.

Virgin Atlantic. Scotch and dry.

VA isn't bad. It's not fantastic either. I've racked up enough frequent flier miles in order to get to a pretty high status level with Star Alliance. The problem is, I'm a cheap ass and these days rarely ever fly on a Star Alliance carrier, so having status doesn't really matter.

We flew Sydney to Hong Kong to London. Took a train out from London to Shropshire to Birmingham to Shropshire and back to London again. Then flew London to Nagoya to the Gold Coast and back to Sydney again. That's our first holiday in about six years and it only lasted two weeks. I have personal photos, but client work I need to see through before that.

I'd like to go to the US for a holiday some day. I've been to the US about three or four times now, but only on transit. That's life just teasing me.

And while I was in Tokyo, I figured it was time to visit Disneyland for the first time. I'm not getting any younger.

It's funny I say that. I've refused to admit I'm getting old for a while now. When I was in university, others would say it and I'd simply not believe them. I guess it is a relative thing. Now I look back at people in university and they seem like such young folk. I'm guessing my peers think the same of me.

But physically, I'm starting to feel it. I used to work two jobs and still attend university as a full-time student. These days I can barely manage my other job on the side in addition to my full-time one.